The Least Stand

the-last-standIf you are excited to see Arnold making movies again you may want to keep waiting. Bare in mind that Mr. Schwarzenegger hasn’t made a full movie since he took time out to run California for a few years. Sure he was in Expendables 2 but his performance was little more than an extended cameo.

This movie is based around a small town on the Mexican border that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the sheriff of. The rest of the movie’s story line is choppy at best. They attempt to the make the sheriff a former agent of a higher level  government agency but they tried to play coy about it and not truly give all the details. This was a poor attempt to add some intrigue to the character that really had no place in the movie and did not need to be there. Trouble brews for the town as news of an escaped son of a Mexican drug lord is heading to the town to use it as his crossing into Mexico and ultimately his freedom. How prey tell will this Mexican drug lord make it through the town? He’s driving a really fast car!!! I wish that was something I was writing as a joke but that is the actual story of the movie. Apparently highway patrol and all other agencies in this part of the country are not capable of creating a road block. The movie works so badly that in one scene the Fed’s are talking over how to catch him and one of them suggests a helicopter. To which another agent states that the car is just too fast to be caught by a helicopter. This is silly enough to try to believe but it is totally ruined a few scenes later when they have a helicopter following almost right on top of the car. If that weren’t bad enough, it goes further into stupidity. Mind you it is the dark of night in the desert at this point and to evade the helicopter, the drug lord employs the most devious of tactics – he turns off the headlights!!! Seriously, I didn’t make that up. I won’t go into all the places where the plots is broken or just doesn’t work because I don’t I have that kind of time.

Movies that have a lot of big names or at least recognizable faces always cause instant concern and this movie was no different. There are plenty of actors that you know by name or have seen in other films. Apparently, this movie is just another example that aggregating talent does not make anything better. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s acting was right on par with what I expected. He has the same dry delivery of bad one-liners that he has and always will. The rest of the cast seemingly chose to turn their abilities down either to make his look better or they were just a confused by the plot as I was. I know Johnny Knoxville isn’t going to win many awards but I think everybody in this movie has earned a Razzie.

Every actor has made bad movies and I do mean “movies”. I hope this was one to get the cobwebs off and get back in form. If you choose to watch this movie be prepared to shake your head in both disgust and confusion, sometimes at the same time. I happen to have watched this movie at a friend’s house. He fell asleep about fifteen minutes in and I think he had the better time of it.